Lisa, my biggest personal regret in life is going to be not being able to save you and for that I am so, so sorry. I know that the truth is that it wasn't my fault, that it was only the werewolf's for killing you but that knowledge isn't making anything easier for me. I want to be able to tell you that I tried my hardest to save you, but I'm having difficulty fully believing that, and I can't tell if it's because I really didn't or if I am simply afraid to face the fact that my best wasn't good enough, that it didn't save you. Yet on the other hand, I keep wondering what would have happened had I used an Unforgivable on him instead of a fire spell. Would I still be able to Cruciate someone well and would you have survived if I had been able to hold it on him? Had I tried a killing curse instead would he simply be gone and would I instead be visiting you in St. Mungo's? I don't know, Lisa. I don't know if my fear of those spells or my fear of breaking the law means that you're not here now. What does it say that I wouldn't risk Azkaban to save your life?

I'm sorry.

I didn't tell your father any of this. I told him that I tried and that the werewolf was too quick and how you were gone so quickly, and how I didn't want anything else to happen to you or for you to be eaten because of me and so I told him how I found a cupboard and I hid in there for at least an hour with you in my arms until I could bring you back safely. I told him how sorry I was for losing your arm which seems so silly, really, but it was so devastating and shameful and I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I had to not be your friend at school and I'm sorry that I didn't spend more time with you than I did after everything and make up for everything. I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry and I miss you and I can still feel you squeezing my hand for reassurance and I wish my reassurance hadn't been fake because it wasn't all going to be all right. It should have been.

And you're right, your dad's girlfriend isn't pretty.

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Are you all right?

I saw your conversations with Theodore and Smith.

Tomorrow will be seven months. It still feels like yesterday though. Sometimes. Other times it feels like years and I start to wonder how long actual years will feel like.

Are you going to fight?

I have to admit, something about this new journal tagging thing is bugging me. I understand completely the need to prevent people from passing along information to the Death Eaters, and there isn't even that we might be in a spot where we need assistance since we do have other very good means of communication, but I think it's more that the DMLE is modifying the journals that we created.

And yes, I am a bit worried that they've messed something up. I mean, I get nervous that I'll screw something up every time I do something to it - especially when Stephen and R Ruby and I made the new journal for Morag, since we had to figure a way to either disconnect Morag's old journal or allow her to have two, both of which we originally prohibited.

I'm curious too to see if they've cracked and changed our passphrases for the things and if we are then unable to even do anything to them. Not that I would ever try to undo these new changes they're making, at least not until all the Death Eaters are caught, but it's the principle of the thing. They're our creation after all.

You are a
I swear I
You had better
I can't believe

Do you know who killed my sister?

Orson Mulciber tried to kill Anthony tonight. I'm with him at St. Mungo's right now and he'll be fine, but he's pretty beat up.

I don't know any of the details since he's not really tel I'm trying to stay out of the way but he'll fill us all in later.

Ruby, where are you? I'm at Stephen's - you remember we planned to meet tonight, right? You're a half hour Stephen has some pretty neat things going on with this Howler-paper idea.

You're probably on your way - see you soon.

How are you doing?

I want to apologise for not having said much to you since the auction, especially since I do consider you a good friend. I have been thinking about you but I simply     well, I've really been fairly selfish these last few months and primarily thinking just about myself and how badly I have it. Granted, I do believe I am somewhat justified in this to an extent, but now that it's been nearly six months I should probably take a look around me, especially given that, well, things aren't really over yet and Cicely is gone now and things are happening to my friends and while I don't miss Parvati any less (I'm apparently instead growing accustomed to it, I would say), it would be wrong to continue being so selfish and thinking only of myself.

So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry and would you like to get together soon?

You're probably not aware, but this Saturday is Diwali, which is the festival of lights and a pretty big holiday for my family. Well, it actually begins tonight and is five days long, but we just celebrate one day. The only time we've celebrated the whole five days was the year before Mahit began Hogwarts when we went to India for it. There's a story behind it - two, actually, if you're interested.

Anyhow, it's also my favourite holiday and this year will be really I would like it if the two of you would celebrate with us on Saturday. There will be plenty of (vegetarian) food, but trust me, it will be delicious. I just hope you don't mind it spicyy.

It would mean a lot to me.

Some days I just miss her so much

I'm sure you've heard Mama fussing about it all week but Saturday is Diwali and I think we've all been assuming that you're going to celebrate it with us, but I wanted to double-check. If you are, we'll need to buy new clothes and would you like to go out after we finish at the Ministry today?

I also told Mama I was bringing a friend but I'm slightly unsure if I should invite Anthony or George. I'd really like to invite both of them but given all the family coming over (including the Hassans, I think), I don't know if that would be too much. Mama asked if I was inviting George and she seemed to be hoping I was, which is a bit surprising to me (but in a good way), though at the same time Anthony is my best friend and I've always wanted him to celebrate Diwali with us, especially after he invited me to his Rosh Hashanah celebration. I'm not sure if he'd come though, since it is going to be one month since his mother passed away on Saturday, but at the same time he might welcome the distraction.

I suppose, though, if Mahit ends up bringing Claudius and Imran is there, and you and me, I doubt adding two more people rather than just one will really be too odd, especially given how random the group seems to be.

Oh, and prepare yourself, because Mama and I are going to be cooking all day tomorrow.

I think I need your help.

Did you have to say all those things to him? We're well warded but they've gotten through wards before.

I've been thinking a lot lately and I know things have been a bit crazy lately     and I know crazy is a pretty misleading word and perhaps me just not wanting to actually address all that is going on. However, I need to talk to you and if I continue to wait for things to calm down I could be waiting a while and I've been thinking about this constantly since I realised it and I don't think that's good.

I can't talk about what happened in May. I'm not saying it's something that we should be idly chatting about or gossiping about but I can't at all. You're the only person who seems to be able to and I know it's not easy but you can, while I can't even state the facts about what happened objectively. I even just say "what happened in May," not     what it was or anything. I just

I don't know. I'm not sure what sort of response I am expecting from you but I need to hear your opinion at least.

Thank you for testifying for me. It means a lot that you would even after formerly being in the Inquisitorial Squad, and I really am grateful. My father too says that he thinks it was invaluable, especially given how your own trial turned out.

Thank you for testifying even if. You seemed How are you doing?

Thank you for testifying for me. I know that we've patched things up and all but I suppose that I still don't feel like I deserve all the support that people are giving me and so for that I am extraordinarily grateful.

I'm scared.

I'm being put on trial on Thursday and Friday.

I just thought you should know.